I Killed You No, You Didn't
by Nicki Monaz
Summary: Clint has nightmares about being Loki's mind slave and Natasha helps him. vulnerable/sensitive Clint and comforting/reassuring Natasha Even assassins can't be tough all the time.


It was getting late, but Natasha Romanoff didn't feel like sleeping at the moment. It had been an uneventful day with no missions to go on, so she wasn't tired. The time was about 11 oclock at night and Natasha was bored out of her mind. She'd watched all the movies Tony had and finished reading the book she got at a bookstore three blocks down. So, Natasha decided to see what Clint was doing and ask him to spar.

Walking down the hall, she could hear Thor's loud snoring coming from his room and a radio playing in Steve's. She figured Tony must be with Pepper somewhere or in the lab talking science with Bruce.

Natasha reached Clint's bedroom and seeing that the door wasn't locked, opened it and went in.

Clint had a double bed he usually filled up with pillows and blankets and slept in the middle of, much like a comfortable nest; just like the bird name suggested.

"Hey Clint. I was wondering if you wanted to spar with me. Are you busy?" she asked as she opened the door.

Receiving no answer, Natasha entered farther into the room. There were pillows and blankets on the floor like they'd been knocked off the bed from a lot of tossing and turning. She saw Clint laying on the bed and, coming closer, saw that he was sleeping, and it definitely wasn't peacefully.

He was laying on top of the covers, clutching the sheets tightly with one hand and his pajama shirt with the other. He was shaking and he had sweat on his brow and forehead. Every so often he let out a whimper.

Natasha sat down on the bed and shook him, "Clint, wake up. It's me, Natasha."

Clint woke up startled and seeing her, asked, "N-Nat? What are you doing here?"

"I came to see if you wanted to spar with me, but you were asleep." the redheaded woman responded, "Are you alright?"

"I'm f-fine." he lied, the shaking of his voice making it obvious.

"You were having a nightmare." Natasha stated.

"Y-yeah…" Clint admitted.

"What about?" she questioned, "You can tell me."

"L-Loki was…still controlling me…He t-told me to…to k-kill you…and I-I said, "yes, sir"…and…and" he trembled.

"And what, Clint?" Natasha put her arms around him, "It's okay. Take your time."

Clint tried to calm himself down, but tears slid down his cheeks as he continued, "I-I did it…I k-killed you…H-he told me to m-murder you and I-I did it…I didn't even c-care…"

She pulled him closer to her and tried to comfort him, "It was only a dream. I'm right here."

"I know, b-but it was s-so real…" he sobbed, "I sh-shot you with one o-of my arrows…and I s-stabbed you a-and snapped your n-neck…Y-you b-begged me to f-fight him…to n-not let him c-control me…I-I just l-laughed at you…and I w-watched you die…"

"It's alright." Natasha told him, "You didn't kill me. We beat him. He can't make you do anything anymore."

"It w-wasn't just that…" Clint explained, shaking more, "Loki t-told me about…about k-killing Coulson…H-he said he d-deserved it…that h-he was weak a-and that he was u-useless…He s-said he w-was u-unworthy of his pathetic l-life…and I…I a-agreed with h-him…I said Coulson was w-worthless…"

She rubbed comforting circles into his back while he buried his face in the side of her neck, trembling and crying like a child, "Shhh. It's okay, Clint. That never really happened. Everyone knows you don't think that about Coulson. We all know how great he was and how much he meant to you. He meant a lot to me too."

"H-he was l-like a dad to me…" he told her, "…I d-don't want y-you to be d-dead e-either…I could n-never want t-to k-kill you…"

"I know." Natasha said, "That's why we became partners."

"W-what if L-Loki had control o-of me again?" Clint questioned, "What i-if he t-told me to k-kill you a-again?"

"I'd just use cognitive recalibration on you again." she answered, "I'd fix you. I'll always fix you, Clint."

"Promise?" he sniffled, done sobbing and shaking.

"I promise." Natasha wiped a last tear from his cheek, "Promise me you'll let me?"

Clint laid his head against her shoulder, tired and comforted by her touch, "I promise."

"Good." she replied, not removing her arms from around him, "Now try to go back to sleep okay? You're going to need your rest for when I beat you at sparing tomorrow. I'll just stay here with you tonight."

He snuggled against her, wrapping his arms around her, and did what he was told, saying one thing before drifting into a peaceful slumber, "Thanks, Nat." He fell asleep in under a minute.

The Spider waited until the Hawk was sleeping like a baby, kissed the top of his head, and said, "You're welcome, Clint." Then she smiled and went into her own calm darkness.

Nightmares really were better dealt with when someone was right there next to you. Maybe it was because they both had nightmares and the two evil things killed each other. Maybe it was just the comfort of a familiar presence in their loneliness. Either way, the archer wasn't the only one comforted that night. He wasn't the only one that needed arms wrapped around him, protecting him from his inner demons; arms caring for him. A certain female assassin needed that too, even though she didn't know it herself.

They both got what they needed that night. They both felt the comforting touch that reassured them everything was okay. They were partners; best friends in more way than one. If they needed anyone to make them feel safe, anyone to comfort them, it was each other. They needed each other that night.

Knowing their line of work, it wouldn't be the last night one of them would have to climb into the other's bed and hold them while they slept. It wouldn't be the last night there was a comforting embrace or calming kiss between them. There'd be more trembling and tears no one else knew about.

Even assassins needed someone. Even they needed comforting. But, you'd never expect them to admit it.


End file.
